I’ve had it rough

March 3, 2009

Every two weeks I get sent into the hospital. The first time was for observation due to neuropathy,= tingling in fingers and mine happens to be on my bottom lip.  Okay I agreed to an overnighter, because I had just been radiated that day anyway and better not to have  had contact with my young child.

But the days grew on and no medical plan in place, giving me sleepless nights and grump frustrated attitude.

The second time I really felt hoodwinked. 


The out paitent nurse said if I just went  to the hospital side I could get a blood transfusion, and because it was getting late in the day it would spare a nurse from hanging out until it was done. 

what they did not tell me is the infuse would last until deep in the night. I was crushed.  I just wanted to get to my beach hut in zeeland. The whole week was my little lovebug home for spring break and I was ruining it by going into the hospital.

Here comes the hoodwinked part. I see that my transfusion is over and as soon as they remove the needle from my body, I’m out of there baby.

Fout-wrong-try again. More lung photos, I just had taken 2 weeks before, but this time some one got the bright idea to look at my liver.

So first off the the ultrasound techies. I did not mind the smeary gel, I knew I could shower later, I had time.

But I know something is the matter because the clicks were starting to come more fast in furious under my left ribcage.  That sweet circular thing that use to peek into see my baby was now being forced hard against me like a karate weapon (with out any padding).  I breathed in hard and held my breath as long as I could, but I know in my heart of hearts my cancer has jumped to my organs. More specifically what doctors refer to as hot spots on my liver and maybe even my lungs. I won’t know for another two weeks.

I begged and begged for chemo and I have had only one treatment in an 8 week period, what did the doc’s think?

the caner was not going to go wild with out any form of suppression?

Needless to say I”ve had it rough.


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