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my little princess

August 19, 2008

We have been living the vacation life so much that my 3 year old woke up and asked: Where are we going today? I had to laugh because we were scheduled to go visit her grandma. We decided to do day trips to Belgium, and now we were going 4 hours north by car into the eastern part of the country near the German boarder. We have adapted the nomadic life and really were quite enjoying it. But this visit would be the final destination and we were heading home that same evening. With the mail avalanches before our inner door we knew there was much to catch up on. We also knew it was time to get our little 3 year old back on her sleeping schedule and ready for school. She as already grown into all her 4 year old clothes that I had bought in advance from Lands end last summer. So no hurried back to school shopping for me, cause we are all set!

I honest admit, the planning is all worked out, her little gym is payed for the next season, but honestly I am not ready to be abandoned. Maybe these feeling will change as we drop her off at school. But I already am loosing sleep over it. My family’s busy life is just getting started, but I know shortly the social schedule will be in full swing.  You see, my family is my Shang-grala. My Baby will always be my baby. If there was a way to be around my daughter 24-7 I would do it.  I sympathize with home schooling now more than ever. If there was a way to be around my hubby I would also do it. But my chemotherapy appointments must go on, and life as a small business owner dwindles before my eyes as I accept that I am officially a stay at home Mom.

I have been tempted many times to make a card in the local trading post board of our local super market to give private computer lessons. But I know this is a bit of a fantasy. I could also give dutch lessons to English speaking people, I have all the gear. Cd’s cassette tapes, books and work books. Maybe it is time to get back to seriously painting.  As I contemplate the notion of being alone from 8 am until 4 pm, it still frightens me. I have 6 months to figure out what to do with myself.

earing on the shoulder

earring on the shoulder

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