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Sometimes you just don’t have a choice- Mommy can’t Sweetie

April 24, 2008

I always have great plans, and sometime they fall through. But every Mother with cancer and young children have to accept their limitations. At 3 years old “catch me if you can” is great fun, but Mommy just can’t keep up with a darting preschooler. I don’t even try. I disengage immediately asking the help to fetch her or find some other more restful game to play.

The result is that she was whisked away to the shops to buy simple things like garbage bags. Another thing I don’t do often is take my child shopping. I on-line shop even for my groceries and have them delivered up my flight of stairs ( well worth the extra 5 bucks).

But today I am feeling lonely wandering what is taking my help so long to get garbage bags? It is a nice day I look out the window and my child is sleeping quietly in her stroller, and my help is sitting relaxed on a park bench and is staring off into space.  They have been to the store alright because I can see the bag from the store hanging from the arm of the stroller.

I want to be that person sitting on the park bench enjoying the sunshine, but I can’t. I can’t sit on hard surfaces for long. I definitely can not afford sun burn or catch something from being out in public. So I watch the world go by from my picture window knowing that my white blood cell count is so low that my doctor personally wrote the emergency number on a memo pad for me. Sometimes you just don’t have a choice.

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