Well we know where the dance studio is today

I need no more disappointments so we investigated where the dance studio is and it is in biking distance of the house for my au-pair. It is not far from the famous bridge where the Canadian solders in WWII took back Amsterdam, the Berlage bridge named after the famous architect Berlage. It also is not far from where we store our boat on the Amstel river under the bridge is garage doors with a rowing school on one side, the Dutch women just won gold in rowing.  We are steeped in tradition. I am hoping the ballet school is just as prestigious, just kidding. As long as my little one has a good time at English ballet school I’m a happy camper.

I need to do more for the “cause”

I officially signed up to be a star. No not American idols, but a cancer patient that friends and family can donate money to cancer research. I am a person living with cancer. It will never go away only be repressed because I have a dreaded inoperable tumor. If someone told me tomorrow I could have an operation to get rid of the cancer I would ask “Where do I sign?`My Moms with Cancer blog is gathering strength to become a team. I am all for team playing, but I thought I would give the donation concept a head start.

I never beg for money, but the last few weeks I have been faced with the problem, what do I do with myself once my baby goes to school full time in March 2009. I think I am formulating an answer. I want to help raise money for cancer research. I want to help solve the puzzle called cancer before I wither away from it´s awful affects.

In September the goal of a few thousand dollars is in reach.  Sponsor me as a star in the constellation of cancer life. It is such a small thing that can make a big difference.

my little princess

We have been living the vacation life so much that my 3 year old woke up and asked: Where are we going today? I had to laugh because we were scheduled to go visit her grandma. We decided to do day trips to Belgium, and now we were going 4 hours north by car into the eastern part of the country near the German boarder. We have adapted the nomadic life and really were quite enjoying it. But this visit would be the final destination and we were heading home that same evening. With the mail avalanches before our inner door we knew there was much to catch up on. We also knew it was time to get our little 3 year old back on her sleeping schedule and ready for school. She as already grown into all her 4 year old clothes that I had bought in advance from Lands end last summer. So no hurried back to school shopping for me, cause we are all set!

I honest admit, the planning is all worked out, her little gym is payed for the next season, but honestly I am not ready to be abandoned. Maybe these feeling will change as we drop her off at school. But I already am loosing sleep over it. My family’s busy life is just getting started, but I know shortly the social schedule will be in full swing.  You see, my family is my Shang-grala. My Baby will always be my baby. If there was a way to be around my daughter 24-7 I would do it.  I sympathize with home schooling now more than ever. If there was a way to be around my hubby I would also do it. But my chemotherapy appointments must go on, and life as a small business owner dwindles before my eyes as I accept that I am officially a stay at home Mom.

I have been tempted many times to make a card in the local trading post board of our local super market to give private computer lessons. But I know this is a bit of a fantasy. I could also give dutch lessons to English speaking people, I have all the gear. Cd’s cassette tapes, books and work books. Maybe it is time to get back to seriously painting.  As I contemplate the notion of being alone from 8 am until 4 pm, it still frightens me. I have 6 months to figure out what to do with myself.

earring on the shoulder

don’t forget to wave good bye

Yes it is another first day of school she has her pretty lime green seersucker dress that her aunt picked out for her. “I don’t want a dress” protested my young maid. I want pants, so I put pants on her, and she said “I want a different pair and started to pull them off until she had to ask for help because the foot got stuck and the pants were looking like a great big knot at the base of her left ankle. With one solid tug they came off.  She decided to wear the dress after all, or was convinced after a strict look from her Papa.

Boy am I grateful for the team work between my husband and I. Especially after a long night of cleaning an accident in the bed. But I don’t want to say it was on protest from our little one, but I don’t think she wanted her vacation to end. Neither did I frankly, but she had 5 accidents, and not telling us she had to go potty. Once she just was to lazy to get op off the lap of the au pair and pee came right through that was accident number 4 for the day, and 5 in bed was the final straw.

My hubby gave up his bed to sleep on the couch so that our little princess had a soft place to sleep. I had chemo in me so my sheets were already sweaty and could not offer my bed.  He galantly took the couch, not wanting to climb 3 flights of stairs to the au-pairs room in the attic. Maybe she just does not want to grow up and we are forcing too many rules on her now.

Well she is definately in for a rude awakening as she goes back to pre-school today. The alarm was madly beeping on Papa’s side of the bed where Papa was not, and climbing my way over in my sleepy state to come to the reality that vacation is over.

Drink and bag for school packed, hair brushed and put in two separate pony tails looking like Pippy Longstocking. A kiss goodbye, and as a stood patiently at the wave to get a wave goodbye, there was no turning back. She was firmly placed on Papa’s shoulders, and looking forward to her new adventures. May be I need to be more like that myself. Full steam ahead.

I told you so…

My Mom admitted she was wrong, and I was right! Wow this should be noted in a calendar or something. But the news is so good that I could not contain a cheer of happiness when I heard my brother is going to have a baby with his new bride! The oldest of his original family hung up on him, but it will just take time to get use to the idea of a half sister. I personally very happy and hope it is a boy, we have so many girls, a boy would be different, not better, just different. My  oldest niece is also due to have a girl, so she will have a 2nd cousin that is younger than her by 5 months. The modern American family.